Sunday, July 25, 2010
letters
I have always been Interested in the idea of 'petticoat dominating' the male sex ever since, as a young girl, I visited the home of one of my friends and saw her 16-year-old brother dressed up in a little-girl frock and frilly petticoats and knickers, which was his mother’s way of controlling him and keeping him in order within the home.
Poor Vernon! He was really quite a nice-looking lad but dolled up like this, with all those lacy frills showing under his frock and his long legs bare, except for a tiny pair of white silk ankle-socks, he looked so ridiculous that I giggled with laughter at him, which of course made him blush even more, and literally squirm with embarrassment. Even though he was used to his mother and sister seeing him like this, it must have been an awful experience for him to have another girl of his own age teasing him and laughing at him, and when I christened him “Priscilla” and kept talking to him as though he were just a little baby girl, he was so ashamed that in the end he actually started blubbing.
Of course, after that I used to visit them a lot, and Molly and I would play games in which “Priscilla” was our darling little baby sister, and we found him some dolls and other childish toys to play with. Sometimes his mother would join in, and for hours at a time he would be teased and made fun of till he would whimper pitifully, just like a baby, to be allowed to get away. One day I bought a baby’s dummy for him and, when he started crying, I pushed it into his mouth to comfort him, and his humiliation was so intense that he went as red as a beetroot and began to tremble. After that, we always made him use a dummy and what with that, and his short frock and little frilly petticoats, the poor darling looked absolutely ridiculous.
Having tasted petticoat domination like this as a girl, and enjoyed it so much, I was determined when I married to put my husband under similar control, and it was not difficult to find a meek and very submissive man who would be prepared to accept female authority. Profiting by Vernon’s reactions to the use of a dummy-teat, I decided that It would be fun to put him into complete baby attire, and so to his intense mortification my great big husband has to wear tiny baby frocks with lots of lacy and be-ribboned petticoats underneath, and—the crowning misery of all—he is kept to the permanent wearing in the house of baby’s nappies.
Oh, how he hates it! As soon as he gets home from work each day, he is taken upstairs and bathed, then led along to the nursery and fastened up in his nappies and dressed up in all his pretty baby finery. Quite often, to add still further to his humiliation, some of my women friends are present and to be bathed like this in front of them, and then to have to suffer the awful indignity of being diapered and put into baby clothes to the accompaniment of their joking comments and merciless teasing never fails to reduce him to tears.
He wears nappies and baby dress not only every evening but throughout the weekend. Luckily I have sympathetic neighbours on both sides, who know about my methods of handling him and fully approve, so if it happens to be a nice day, he can be put out in the garden and he need not be confined just to the house. This really upsets him, as it means that he is exposed all the time to the mockery of outsiders; I make him sit on a pink blanket in a play-pen, and he is given dolls and other baby toys to amuse himself with, and of course he must always have his hated dummy. On warm days he is stripped down to just his nappies and vest, but otherwise he wears his usual baby frock and petticoats, and a pretty bonnet with a big brim and long ribbons if the sun is out.
He is unlucky I suppose, that my early experiences with Vernon made me realise just what jolly fun could be derived from this form of domination. But he was aware, before we married, that I intended to be the boss, and although I don’t imagine that he ever realised just how far my domination over him would be carried, he has only his own weakness of character to blame for the situation he is in. Generally speaking. if there is no-one else present he accepts baby treatment without too much fuss, and even seems sometimes to enjoy being nursed and given his bottle, but it is when there are other ladies watching, and laughing and blowing mocking kisses at him, that he really feels the humiliation of it. In any case, whatever his feelings, I have every intention of keeping him in nappies and baby dress, and that he will remain my baby for as long as I wish him to be so. Yours in nappies,
‘Mummy’
PETTICOATED HUMILIATION GOOD FOR HIS SOUL
(From Madame)
Contributed by Saffron
Dear Miss Candida,
I was very pleased to see in your excellent magazine how many wives are bringing their men under proper control and how quite a few have found the merits of petticoating. I too have found it to be an infallible method. Men will endure anything rather than be exposed to the derision of women. It crushes their ego as nothing else can. My husband has many times implored me to give him the cane rather than face the ordeal of my girl friends. But I really enjoy watching a petticoated male cringing under the ridicule of laughter of women. He is soon reduced to a spineless jelly, ready to obey my every wish. I am sure there must be many ladies amongst your readers who would welcome some guidance in finding and training a submissive. Look around for the shy ones who never push themselves forward. "Mother" him a bit and make him feel wanted and secure, and utterly dependent on you. Once you have him in this state he is already in invisible chains. Whatever indignities or service are imposed, he finds it impossible to face the alternatives of separation, and accepts his humble position. Many submissives have hidden TV tendencies which makes petticoating that much easier. However, it is wise to break him in slowly. I began by inviting my husband to dinner, and afterwards he helped with the washing up, and was soon adorned in one of my aprons. I let him get used to that, then on one occasion I spilled soup over his suit. I had a large sized dress ready which I said was my mother's and persuaded him to wear it. Soon he was completely hooked and I brought the subject around to marriage. I own two dress shops and am kept quite busy. I needed a husband who would stay at home and do the housework. So I insisted he gave up his job and place his savings in a joint account. He didn't like it, but he was much too far gone to be able to break away from me. Shortly after the marriage, I took all his suits with me to the shop, leaving him only dresses to wear. Thus he was confined to the house without money and no will to escape. He soon began to enjoy his domestic role.
Most men are really only little boys and prefer a woman to dominate and control them. I have never been addicted to the cane although I do use it when quick, sharp discipline is called for. I prefer more subtle means and decided to use humiliation. I arranged a coffee morning and invited several of my girlfriends, My husband wore his usual black dress with white lace collar, to which I added a particularly frilly apron. I was careful to leave his head and face normal so that he was obviously a petticoated male and looked even more ridiculous. I shall never forget the first time I pushed him, protesting, carrying a tray of coffee into the living room. He seemed to freeze and shrink under the laughter of the women. His face went scarlet and if I hadn't been behind him he would have run for his life! As it was there was no escape and we kept him running about, fetching and carrying like a maid. I enjoyed it all and, as a refinement to his torment, I made him curtsey every time a lady gave him an order. This caused further convulsions of laughter, and afterwards we all agreed that taunting and teasing a helpless, petticoated male was the most satisfying sport any woman could imagine. My friends insisted on coming again and hubby goes through hell quite regularly, which is, I am sure, good for his soul. Recently it was his birthday and one of the girls made him a sweet, pink, baby girl dress and bonnet. So we decided to dress him up and have some more fun with him. I didn't tell him but simply dressed him, then tied his legs to a chair. I stood back to admire my handywork and spent a few minutes making fun of him. Imagine his panic when he heard the girls coming up the front path. I enjoyed every second of his desperate pleading not to let them see him like this. As the door bell rang, I silenced him with a dummy, secured with elastic so that he couldn't eject it. The women had the time of their lives that day. After the initial teasing and laughter had died down someone christened him "Mandy" and produced a doll she had brought. Of course, while we all had tea he had to nurse it and suck his dummy. All he got for his tea was a baby bottle and a few rusks!
After tea I got out my camera. He looks funniest when he is crying with shame, so while we all watched, Carol and Anne began to tease and pinch him. They soon had him in a terrible state and I was ready with the camera. We have all had so much fun with him I am enclosing the photo so that other wives, especially Mrs. J.S. (London), can enjoy the sight of a man in baby clothes. Perhaps if enough dominant ladies take up this sport, we may be able to hold a "baby" show one day! I enjoy your magazine immensely and look forward to accounts of other petticoated males. Yours sincerely,
Mrs. M.B., Birmingham.
A Mother's Answer
To sum it up, it would seem that your lady writers use petticoat discipline, both sissy wear and actual wearing of petticoats, to augment corporal discipline to bring unruly and objectionable boys, and even youths, to heel. Its purpose is to control, to subdue, to train, to inculcate manners opposite to those already in the boy. In other words, to try to turn a boisterous, rude boy into a dainty and well-mannered miss.
If I were writing about just another case of such petticoating, my letter would be redundant, but I write because I think the experience I have with my son is different. Some mothers who wrote do hint that they had wanted a daughter, and had been disappointed when a son came along, and that they petticoated their son for that reason, having to apply corporal punishment and other stern measures to get their boy to co-operate.
I confess that I too petticoated my son to take the place of the daughter who did not materialise, and because I lost my husband shortly after the birth of my son. I pondered the situation for a few years, then when the longing for a daughter did not decrease, I made the decision to have my son become my darling daughter. My closest friends helped me that Paul was far too lovely a child to be wasted in nasty trousers, and as he was fair of complexion, and small of stature for his age, I turned him into a cute little girl.
He is fourteen years old now, and yet when dressed up in his pretties, he looks just like a darling little six year old girl, and he has adapted to that status and role. I was so charmed when I saw him leaning out of the window recently. In leaning, his short little girl frock not quite covering his bottom, showing his little petticoat and sweet little lace-frilled rhumba panties.
Yes, I am truly the mother of a boy-girl, and I have never had to use corporal punishment once in all that time. Never has he rebelled, but has sweetly acqiesed to petticoating. It is not that he does not know that he is a boy, but he considers my wishes first. What pleasure we have discussing all his dainty clothes: what undies he shall wear, whether he needs a new frock. Can he have a new dolly, and so on. Mindful of his status as a little six year old miss, he has a suitably early bedtime, wears adorable little nighties, and often sleeps with me in my bed. Like any six year old, he likes to help about the house, folding his own undies and even the nappies which he wears to bed. I am so lucky to have such a sweet little boy-girl.
'Proud Mother'
Petticoat Boysby Emily Ross
While my husband Marvin was away at a conference, I had subjected both my sons, eleven-year-old Jack (now called Jodie) fifteen-year-old Jason (now called Kelly-Ann) to petticoat discipline.
Previously their behaviour had been disgraceful and at my sister Jill’s suggestion I had got both of them into dresses. Within a matter of hours this had had a really beneficial effect on their conduct and on their manners.
Not only that but they seemed to enjoy being prettied up and on this afternoon were wearing matching baby blue little girls’ dresses with just a hint of petticoat lace showing, matching white ankle socks and matching Mary Janes. They both wore their matching wigs each tied in two matching pigtails and tied in baby blue ribbons. They wore the same shade of lipstick and nail varnish and I guess they were even wearing matching panties.
I didn’t know exactly when Marvin was coming home but I expected that he would phone me and tell me of his travel plans and I could explain about the boys. In fact he caught an early plane from Glasgow and arrived home in mid-afternoon.
The ‘girls’ and I were sitting in the kitchen. I was having a reviving cup of tea and the ‘girls’ were daintily sipping orange squash when Greg came in, tired out by his journey. As a result he was in a bit of a bad mood before he saw how his sons were dressed.
"Hi, darling," he said to me. Then he noticed the dresses. "Jason? Jack? What the fuck is going on?"
He was livid. "Calm down, darling. I can explain."
"Explain! Explain! There’s no way you can explain why my two sons are wearing fucking dresses." He was shouting. "You look like a pair of fucking sissies," he said to the children, "and your fucking petticoats are showing."
I was upset. I didn’t want to start a slanging match with my husband in front of our kids. I couldn’t put my feelings into words and I didn’t want to shout back. A tear welled in my eye and I noticed that Jodie was crying too.
Then I noticed that Kelly-Ann was the calmest of the four of us. "Mommy," he said to me matter-of-factly. "Daddy’s sworn in front of us. And he’s also shouted at you. You said that every time we misbehave, we get three days in a dress. Very bad behaviour or repeat offences get seven days. You can’t have one rule for us and another rule for daddy. If petticoating is good for us, it must be good for him too."
Jason always had been a barrack room lawyer. Kelly-Ann went on, "I think he deserves six days in dresses. What do you think, Jodie?"
"Good idea, Kelly-Ann" Jodie said through his sniffles.
"Kelly-Ann? Jodie?" said Marvin. "Your names are Jason and Jack."
"I think I should take him upstairs and get him dressed up. What shall we call him?"
"I like the name Mary-Jo," said Jodie whose tears were turning into smiles.
"OK, then, Mary-Jo," said Kelly-Ann to his father. "You better come upstairs with me." Marvin meekly stood up and obeyed. There was something that prevented any of my family protesting about being put into dresses. As they left the room together, I heard Kelly-Ann say, "Now you go and take a bath. Shave your legs and armpits. Then put on a robe and come into my bedroom. I’ll get you all prettied up. OK?"
Marvin was a few inches taller than me but he was very slim. Some of Kelly-Ann’s stuff would fit him and so would most of mine. I wondered what Kelly-Ann would get him to wear.
An hour an a half later I was introduced to my new husband, Mary-Jo. He was wearing a little girl’s party dress, in case you couldn’t guess. It was the cream one I’d bought Kelly-Ann. He wore Kelly-Ann’s second pair of Mary Janes. (A tight fit he told me later.) I never told him that I’d deliberately bought Kelly-Ann two dresses and two pairs of shoes hoping that I might get Marvin into them. He wore white ankle socks, the short brown wig, a little make-up, pink nail varnish of course and a little jewellery.
He would never have passed as a little girl. After all his outfit would have suited an eight year old and he was five feet ten. But he did look cute and I don’t know why, but he looked sexy. I wanted to make love to him there and then.
"Wow, Mary-Jo," said Jodie who was in the living room with me, "you look fantastic."
I whistled. "You look cute in that dress. It’s definitely your colour. I like your hair. Nice legs."
"Thank you," Mary-Jo replied. "I’m so sorry I was rude to you all earlier. It won’t happen again. Now I’d like to cook you all dinner to try and make up for it. I’ll go and see what’s in the freezer."
Mary-Jo looked adorable in his apron when I checked on him a few minutes later. He cooked a super meal and we all enjoyed it. It was great to have all the family around the table again.
"That’s one day off," said Kelly-Ann to his father. "You’ve done a good job by cooking the meal so you only have to do five days in dresses. Today’s Friday so that will take you up until Tuesday, OK?"
"Yes, Kelly-Ann but I have to go to work on Monday. Please can I be let off as I don’t want to wear a dress to work?"
"That’s OK," I said. "Jill tells me that her rule with Greg is that he can wear his male clothes to work but he has to wear panties underneath and as soon as he gets home from work he has to get prettied up. I’ll expect that from you on Monday and Tuesday, Mary-Jo. OK?"
Mary-Jo nodded. "And of course, you’ll have to be Mary-Jo all weekend."
"Sure. Kay darling," he said, "this dress is kind of OK for the day time but I want to dress up a bit more for the evening. Would you mind if I went upstairs and changed?"
He was so polite I couldn’t refuse. "No problem, darling. I think all three of you girls should change into something more suitable for the evening. And Mary-Jo, honey, you can wear anything of mine that you like."
"Thanks, honey," he said.
The three ‘girls’ headed upstairs to change while I cleared up and washed up. Jodie was first one back down. He’d found the training bra and tights that I’d bought him the day before. In a denim mini-skirt and sleeveless top with ‘babe’ written on it, he looked like a striking fifteen-year-old.
Kelly-Ann appeared next in a little black dress with spaghetti straps that fell to mid-thigh. He wore black tights and black stilettos. If anything he was wearing a little too much make-up but he was still learning about being a girl. He could have easily passed for eighteen and looked like a teenage boy’s dream and not a teenage boy.
Finally Mary-Jo appeared, smelling strongly of my favourite perfume. He wore a black skirt of mine that I no longer wore as I thought it too short for someone my age. On me it was three or four inches above the knee, on Mary-Jo who was a little taller it was more like five or six inches. But what thighs! He had legs to die for, sheathed in black fishnet tights. He too wore black stilettos having squeezed his feet into a pair of mine. Painful.
He wore a black top, mainly made of a lacy material that made it nearly transparent. I rarely wore it as I found it a bit too risqué but it looked great on him with a black bra clearly visible underneath. Gold sparkled on his fingers and wrists. His face was exquisitely painted with creamy foundation, bright lipstick, plum eye-shadow and black mascara. The wig looked so natural and so feminine. His nails were long and painted a deep red. Whereas Kelly-Ann and Jodie looked older, Mary-Jo had lost ten years and looked like their big sister.
I had never seen a man looking so good. I wanted to eat him there and then but I knew I would have to wait until we were in bed. When we made it upstairs I insisted he made love to me dressed as he was. It was wonderful the best sex ever.
I didn’t want it to stop. I wanted to keep my sexy husband in skirts even after his punishment was up. I wanted my beautifully behaved boys to stay in dresses and stay beautifully behaved. I knew that after this life would not be the same again.
what is Female Domination
So what is Female Domination? The entire term seems to be a contradiction to our male dominated society. Female Domination did not originate from dominant women or feminists. It was men who coined the phrase Female Domination to categorize their sexual and social desires to submit themselves to the female gender. --> -->
My curiosity in Female Domination has developed into twenty plus years of studying and practicing Female Domination. I have learned much about the subjects of Female Domination and male submissive desires. When it comes to these subjects, I feel that I am a bit of an expert based on my years of study, observation and participation. I have learned that there are reasons why men have submissive desires toward women. A person's core nature expresses itself in the sexual realm through different sexual desires. To the novice, a man that desires to be on the bottom during intercourse is normal but a man who desires to be spanked or whipped by a woman is perverted. However, I have come to understand that both of these fore mentioned desires stem from the same core desire. That desire is to be sexually dominated by a woman. It is expressed differently but it is the same deep-rooted motivation. Not only that, but this deep-rooted nature is evolving and the man that desires to be on the bottom during intercourse today may very well develop a desire to be spanked or whipped by a woman tomorrow.
Once I learned about the natures of both men and women and once I learned about the natural dominance and supremacy of women over men, it became the key to unlocking and understanding all submissive desires within men. It matters not how these desires are expressed through different fantasies. The root and the core of these are all the same. Namely, the desire of the male gender is to be dominated and ruled by the female gender. Therefore, no expression of this submissive nature surprises me or shocks me. I have heard it all from my male clients and I have seen it all through my own participation in the Female Domination lifestyle.
Men desire corporal punishment, forced feminization, humiliation, strap-on play (being the receiver of a woman's rubber phallus), water sports (such as forced enemas or golden showers), and other D&S (Domination and Submission) activities. Men want to worship the female by tending to her physical and sexual needs (body worship) and men want to be made into a domesticated servant to their wives. But the common thread to all these sexual and submissive desires is the longing for loving female authority. To me, that is the true definition of Female Domination. Female Domination is Loving Female Authority. That is what most men want and need. All these specific fetishes or desires are the outward expressions of a man's need for loving female authority.
Terms like Female Domination, Female Supremacy, and Female Superiority were all coined by men, as they tried to explain their desires toward the female gender. So women are wise to capitalize by using those same terms (thus the reason for the title of my web site).
Words are merely verbal pictures. The right signal sent to the male mind will conjure up the programming that has gone into his subconscious since he was a child. Men create the majority of FemDom art, pictures and images to express how powerful women are in their eyes and how weak they feel in a woman's presence. These images represent what men are feeling inside. The poet and the song writer use words and the artist uses pictures to express their inner feelings. So when a woman becomes that image by donning a fetish outfit or saying a term or using her voice in a certain manner, she touches the male submissive nature and triggers his feelings and desires, thus he becomes weak and helpless. Then the woman can interact with the man with all barriers and defense mechanisms down. Now she is free to interact with the man in a more meaningful way. Now true intimacy and bonding can take place between the woman and the man because she now can see herself as he does. She now sees that in his eyes, she is indeed a Goddess.
So I say to the ladies, please do not get offended by FemDom artwork, videos, or literature, no matter how graphic in nature some of these may be. Instead, look more closely at what is being expressed by the male gender. What are men trying to convey when they produce media that shows men collared and bound at the feet of a woman? Ask yourself, why are sites like The Other World Kingdom so popular with men? What do these pictures say about the male submissive nature?
If a woman will look closer, get over her prudish and self-righteous ways and examine the message more than the content, then she will gain an incredible insight into the male psyche. What is the underlying message to all of these expressions, regardless of the content? Is it not simply the male gender recognizing his need to submit to the female gender? Is it not the inner male child, crying out to be disciplined and trained by the female gender? Is it not the true nature of man breaking forth in his attempt to surrender himself to the female gender?
The thing women must keep in mind about Female Domination is that men need it. It is almost always the man who will introduce the Female Domination lifestyle to the woman. A courageous man with submissive desires introduces Female Domination to his female partner. Why do men do this? It's because men desire and need to be in submission to women. No matter how hard society or religion tries to tell men differently, something deep inside of them yearns to surrender to a powerful woman. These desires grow stronger with age and men will spend countless hours dreaming and fantasizing about Female Domination. They will pursue these desires and struggle with these desires trying to come to terms with them but sadly they will not come to terms with them until they truly have a relationship with a woman that can explore these desires with him in a loving manner.
The other side of this dynamic is that women who embrace the dominant role and who allow their dominant nature to come out, end up absolutely loving this lifestyle. It never ceases to amaze me how many women who once were real hesitant about being dominant, end up loving it so much that they later say that they would never go back to being in submission to a man or only having traditional sex with a man. The Female Domination lifestyle is liberating to women and it is also liberating for men, as they now can fulfill that yearning within them. The Female Domination lifestyle can be a win/win relationship for both the woman and the man.
How To Unleash Your Female Power
Ladies, what are you looking for in a man? How would you describe the perfect man? How about a man that would worship the ground that you walked on? A man that would focus his energy and his attention on you all of the time. A man that would treat you like a Queen, would pamper you, give you foot and body massages, and who would get more pleasure out of pleasuring you than receiving pleasure himself. How about a man that do whatever you told him to do, without arguing or complaining? A man that would not only do all of his chores like cutting the grass and washing the cars, but would also do housework, the laundry, the grocery shopping, and even the cooking. How about a man that would wine and dine you and shower you with gifts? A man that would not cop jealous attitudes whenever you talk with or spend time with another man. Above all, a man that would love you with all of his heart and who would view you as his Goddess.
Sounds like the perfect man, huh? Sounds almost too good to be true, doesn't it? A fantasy, a dream that naïve young girls have. Well, I am here to tell you that you can have such a relationship with such a man. As a matter of fact, you are probably already living with a man that has the potential to become this perfect man. You are already working with men like this and you pass men everyday who are like this. There are men everywhere that have the potential and even the desire to be this perfect man that I just described. The key is not where to find the perfect man but how to find the perfect man? The answer to this question lies within. You have the power to draw these men to you and to train them to be the perfect boyfriend, husband, and lover. You, as a female, hold the key.
Females have a power over men. It is within you and you just need to release it. If you will release this dominant female power within you, you will have men begging to serve you. This power can do wonders for you in life. Not only in your relationship, but also in your social life, in your career, and in every other area of your life. Right now in our society, men hold the positions of power and authority. However, they hold these positions by deceiving women into allowing them to be the dominant gender. The truth is that women are the superior gender and that once a woman unleashes her dominant power, no man will be able to stand up to her. Men become submissive and like little puppy dogs when they are confronted with a powerful woman. The good news is that you have this powerful woman on the inside and men desire to submit to her.
If you don't believe me, allow me to refresh your memory a little. I am now talking to women who are married or who were married before. Remember when you were dating? Remember how submissive your future husband was. Think back. Remember how he was so sweet and kind. Remember how he use to bring you flowers? He would do whatever you wanted to do and go wherever you wanted to go. Remember that? Remember how much you loved him then? Let me ask you this. What changed? Once you got marred, he changed, didn't he? He became selfish and he ignored you. He started to hang around his friends again or he watched television all the time. He started to refuse to go with you to visit your friends and family, didn't he? He refused to go with you shopping or to the places that he once loved to go along with you just to be near you. Everything became a fight and an argument, didn't it? The flowers and gifts stopped. He became cheap and tight with his money, didn't he? Then there is the sex. Sex use to last all night and be so exciting but now it has become boring and fast. Once he gets his sexual release, it's time to go to sleep. Forget about you. After all, bringing you to orgasm is too much work. What happened to the passion? What happened to the guy that you were dating?
What happened is that he is a typical male. What happened is that you didn't realize how you had him under your spell. Your female beauty and your sexuality had captured him and he fell for you. He would do anything for you back then. You probably didn't realize it at the time, but you were the dominant one and he was the submissive one during the courtship. You didn't have to know about D&S and Female Domination back then. Your sexual energy and female ways naturally caused him to become submissive toward you. For a short time, his macho ways and male pride was overcome by your female power. However, once the two of you got married or entered into a serious relationship, his male pride and societies ways caused him to become the dominant one and you surrendered that power and the spell was broken. Now he expected you to be the good little wife and he expected you to obey him. He started to call the shots and the euphoria was over, for the both of you.
Well I want to encourage you to get that power back. That power is still there within you. As a matter of fact, you only used a little of your sexuality and power during the courtship. There is much more power within you that if released, will not only bring back the man that you fell in love with, but will drive him into total submission to you. Not just him either, but all men will sense your female power and they will either desire to serve you or they will be afraid of you. So let me tell you how to release that Tigress within.
First of all, realize that you are a miracle made by God. Men are also miracles and they are beautiful and valuable creations made by God. Men are made in the image of God. However, Women are superior to them. Women are God's last and greatest creations. Women are beautiful, intelligent, and sexual. Women are kind, gentle, tender hearted, yet also strong and resourceful. So begin to see yourself as the superior female that you are. Feel good about yourself and cast off your former low self-image. God does not make junk and losers. God made you to be special and a winner.
God also made you to be in authority over men. God created Eve to be Adam's "helper". The word helper in the Bible is translated from the Hebrew word "ezer". That word means one who helps from a position of authority. It is the same word that is used to describe God in many scriptures that declare how God will help us. It is always from a position of strength and authority. That is the position the female has over the male. So no longer view yourself as a second-class citizen. You are a powerful creation and you are special.
Next, begin to use your sexuality. I don't mean to be promiscuous or to flaunt it. What I am talking about is dress sexy and act sexual. Don't dress sleazy, but sophisticated and lady-like. Don't run around in baggy clothes and sweat pants. Your dress reflects your self-image. Wear nice clothes. They don't have to be expensive clothes, but they should be nice. Wear high heel shoes whenever you can. A lot of men have foot and leg fetishes and seeing an attractive woman wearing high heel shoes can make them weak and submissive. Now, I understand about how uncomfortable they can be at times so you don't have to wear them all of the time but whenever you are going out somewhere and you want to feel extra sexy, don't forget about your shoes.
Also, get some leather clothing. A lot of men have a real leather fetish. A pair of leather pants or a leather skirt can make you feel sexy and powerful and at the same time make men feel weak and submissive. Again, look sophisticated and sexy but not sleazy.
Go to a salon and learn which hair style looks best on you. Also, learn how to properly apply the right kind and the right amount of make-up. Learn what shades look best with your hair color and complexion. If you dress sharp and look good, it will give you confidence and that confidence will radiate from you. Also, exercise and eat right. You want to look good and fit. If you need to lose weight, there are many quality weight loss clinics out there that can help. Don't use fad diets or the lose weight fast schemes. Go to a doctor and lose weight the medically safe way. Also, exercise and tone up.
You don't have to be skinny. As a matter of fact, many submissive men like a larger woman. However, you don't want to be fat and you do want to be fit. If you are over weight and out of shape, don't feel bad about yourself and don't get discouraged. You can lose the weight. It just takes a quality decision. It will help you to feel so much better about yourself and the better you feel both physically and mentally, the more confident you will be and the more sexual energy that will be radiating from you.
Another thing you need to do is to get out there and experience life. Don't spend all of your time home watching television and surfing the Web. Go back to school and take some classes. Join some clubs or organizations that you are interested in. Get around people and become the confident woman that you really are. Excel in your career and use your sexuality and your dominance at the work place to get the promotions and the better paying position. Again, I am not talking about "sleeping" around. I am talking about walking and talking like the sexual and the confident woman that you are. Don't take any crap from any man. Remember, you are superior.
Now as you make these slight adjustments to yourself and your self-image, also allow that dominant nature to flow out of you. Be bold and be strong. Expect good things to happen and they will. In your relationship with your man, begin to dominate him both in and out of the bedroom. Do my "psychoanalysis of the submissive male" on him. Begin to train him to be that perfect man that you desire. Expect excellence out of him and don't allow him to take you for granted. Begin to discipline him, as men need this. Men grow up being disciplined and nurtured by women. Deep inside they still need and desire this. So learn how to discipline a man and how to properly train him.
During sex, begin to learn about D&S and Female Domination. Some of these activities may seem strange, but they are powerful tools in getting a man to submit. Wear fetish outfits and use his fetish against him. D&S and Female Domination will really spice up your sex life and it will never be boring or routine again. If you will overcome your inhibitions and allow for sexuality and dominance to flow and to grow, you will begin to be amazed at how intense and enjoyable sex can be. Also, start to view sex as being for your pleasure and get into the habit of denying your man sexual orgasms. If you deny him and keep him aroused and frustrated most of the time, he will be so much more eager to serve you and to obey you. He will focus on you and your needs if his sexual drive is on high. You need to control it in order to control him.
By dong these things, you will be unleashing that Tigress within you and you will allow your dominant nature to come forth. This will in turn cause men to act submissive around you and will draw them to you.
feminisation
Q. Elise, what is the difference between Cross Dressing and Forced Feminization?
A. Cross dressers are men that want to dress up as a woman. Most of these men are not gay, but there is something within them that desires to dress up like this. It is kind of a fetish. Cross dressers can't share their secret desire with anyone, so they may see a professional Dominatrix to share their secret with and to have her help him to dress up. I am not sure how this practice made it over into female domination, but it is probably because most cross dressers are submissive. These men probably also enjoy to be dominated as well as being dressed up as a woman. Sometimes the dominant woman will take the cross dresser out in public, to humiliate him and so he can experience the thrill of being out in public looking like a woman. A talented Dominatrix can make a man look a lot like a woman by using a wig and make-up.
Forced feminization is totally different. The key word here is "forced". Forced feminization is where a dominant female forces her submissive male to dress up like a woman, against his will. This is a form of domination and extreme humiliation. The idea of forced feminization is to make a man who has absolutely no desire to dress in woman's clothes, to do so for the woman's entertainment. Forced feminization is fun because the woman knows that the man "hates" to do this. She will force him into woman's clothes, add make-up and maybe even a wig, than she will parade him in front of a mirror and force him to look at himself. She will then precede to humiliate him. Finally, she may even strap-on a dildo and fuck her "sissy slut" to further control him and dominate him. I incorporated forced feminization into one of my earliest psychoanalysis procedures as this can really cause a man's submission to come to the forefront. Judging from the response that I got from this exercise, a lot of women really enjoyed doing this to their men.
So the main difference between these two activities is that the one involves forcing the submissive to dress like a woman, whereas the other involves assisting a man who desires to dress like a woman.
Q. Hello Elise. I discovered your site today and am glad to see a place where I can get straight answers about my submissive urges. I have a couple of questions I would like you to address on the Q and A section.
1. Are there ways of flirting that can attract dominant women? I don't flirt like other guys and have paid the price for it so far. Are there techniques which could help me attract the type of woman I want?
2. You've probably been asked this before, but what is the place of feminine urges among men? I've always been attracted to clothes, particularly high heels and nylons, and feel more submissive and sexy when wearing them.
A. Read my articles "How To Meet a Dominant Woman" and "How to Introduce the FemDom Lifestyle to your Wife or Girlfriend" which are posted on my site. Out going women are all around. Women are more out going today than ever before. Chose to date an out going and aggressive woman, build a friendship with her, and then seduce her dominance with your submission. My articles give you practical advice on how to do this. Dating is not an exact science. It is a process of trial and error. Be kind, courteous, and serve women. Hold doors open for them, smile, volunteer to run errands for them and just go out of your way to treat them like gold. Do this and women will take notice.
As far as the feminine clothing goes, that is very common among submissive men. Everything about women and the feminine excites you and you are curious. Women are mysterious to a lot of men. Wearing female clothing, shoes, etc can be very sexually exciting for a man. It is like embracing the feminine and exploring the feminine. This is a very common fetish. Many young boys have their first sexual urges and excitement from touching and even trying on their mother's or sister's bra, panties, or pantyhose. Again, this is exploring the mysterious world that is the female. Many adult men never outgrow this fascination or excitement. By wearing these articles of female clothing, it is natural for this to cause submissive desires within you and cause you to want to submit to the female. You have laid aside your macho male personality and ego and have embraced that which is feminine and forbidden by society. This causes your submission to stir within you. It says to you "If the mere clothing of a woman has this power over me, how much more power would the female herself have over me?"
Of course, each person's desires and fetishes differ based on their own nature and their own life experiences. Yours many not fall exactly in the model that I set forth above but from my experience with submissive men, I am sure that there is a lot of this within your particular fetish and desire. The bottom line is that it is common and it is not abnormal. Just be careful not to take these desires to an extreme where it affects your ability to function within the society that you live. Keep these desire to yourself until you have the kind of relationship with a woman where you can share them with her and allow her to help you to explore these desires in more detail in the privacy of your home.
Q. Elise, you have discussed the topic of Forced Feminization from the submissive male point of view as far as why he has these desires. However, why do women like to force feminize a man? I find that I love to force feminize my husband and have my way with him. I have read forums on the Net from other women who like to FF their men as well. Could you give us some insight on why Dominant women like FF?
A. I think it is because deep inside women love seeing the feminine conqueror the masculine. Feminizing a man is the ultimate symbol of the feminine defeating the masculine. That is a rare feat in our society. We are so use to seeing the masculine having his way with the feminine. That is why it can be such a rush for a woman to feminize a man. It causes a woman's dominant energy to really flow out of her as she does this. She loves to humiliate and degrade her man and she loves the social statement it makes at the same time.
Forced feminization allows a woman to be more aggressive. FF causes a man to become very weak and submissive. His ability to resist and object go by the way side and he is very vulnerable. Women love this because now they can do whatever they want with their helpless victim. Now the woman can be the aggressor and she can have her way with the man. The man is not threatening to her and she no longer fears his strength or masculinity. Women have told me that they have a very strong desire to take a man very forcefully with a strap-on dildo when he is feminized. The desire to rape the feminized man becomes very real to the aggressive female and the actual act becomes very satisfying to her. Again, it sends such a message to the man and society. It says that the woman is the aggressor and the giver and the man is the weaker sex and the receiver.
FF may become very attractive to a woman who has been abused by a man before. Some women fear men due to being mistreated and abused and feminizing a man causes the man not to be intimidating to her. Now she can have her way with him because he is just a little sissy boy. Like so many things about this lifestyle, it is hard to pinpoint for sure why we love to feminize a man but this we do know. There is something inside of a woman that is excited by the thought and activity of making the masculine submit to the feminine through forced feminization.
Q. I have a couple of questions for you, Elise. I am a dominant woman. I am a big woman as I am a body builder. I have a very feminine and pretty face but my body is muscular and powerful. I have won competitions in weight lifting and in body building. My best feature is my powerful legs and thighs as I can squat more weight then most men.
Over the years, I have attracted mostly mousy type men. Do you think it is because of my physique and my sport that has drawn these kind of men to me over the years? I have dated a lot of them and they all have been submissive, which I love but most have been too mousy for me. These men were all passive in bed and they wanted me to do all the work. That is my first question.
I finally found a submissive man that I liked and I married him two years ago. He was not mousy at all when we dated. He was also a body builder and he was very masculine. We got involved in the D&S community and I became the Dom in our relationship. That was natural to me and I love dominating. We are members of a D&S group that is pan-sexual and I dominate both men and women at our play parties. My big thing is dildo and strap-on play. I love to strap-on a dildo and take men up their asses and women in their pussies. My husband's favorite thing in the whole world is to watch me fuck another woman with my strap-on. Because I am so muscular and fit, I have both men and women lining up for my attention at our play parties. They all want me to use my strap-on and dildoes on them and I enjoy this as well.
My other question to you involves my husband. Lately, he is becoming a mouse and a wimp of a man around me. He wants me to de-masculine him and sissify him. All he ever wants is for me to use my strap-on when we have sex. He also loves to orally service me and for me to crush his head with my thighs but he wants me to forbid intercourse. He does not want to have intercourse with me any more because he wants me to strip him of his masculinity. My husband is average to large in the penis size department, so this surprises me. We always enjoyed intercourse with each other. Most of the mousy men I dated before my husband had puny dicks and I understood why they wanted me to deny them orgasms and intercourse but my husband is not like these other men. Yet, he now is starting to act just like them. There must be something about me that causes men to act this way and to desire to be treated this way. Do you have any idea? I am more than willing to feminize my husband and make him into a sissy if that is what he needs but I was just wondering what are the psychological reasons for this.
A. One of the biggest misconceptions out there about orgasm denial and even cuckolding, is that only men with small and inadequate penises desire these things. I check out a lot of web sites because people are always sending the addresses to me to get my opinion. I chuckle when I see different sites and discussion boards trying to explain what cuckolding is or why a man wants to be denied orgasms. While it is true that a man with a small penis may be more open to these things because he has suffered some humiliation in the past and over time this humiliation has become a fetish or a submissive desire.
However, a lot of average sized and even well endowed men also want to have their orgasms controlled by a Dominant Female. Men with average to large size penises also desire to be forced feminized, cuckolded and denied. That is because a man's submission is a part of his nature and it is mental and it is not all about sex or the physical.
A man wants to be ruled and controlled by a dominant woman. He wants to be forbidden sexual pleasure while his Wife or Mistress enjoys as much pleasure as she desires. It is all about a power exchange and it is a mind game. The domination of a man is primarily about the domination of the man's mind. Forced feminization, orgasm denial and cuckolding are about submission. They are about a man submitting his all to his Queen. He wants to be stripped of his masculinity because he wants the Feminine to overpower the masculine. That is what a lot of Dominant women want as well. That is why women write to me to tell me how much they love to feminize their husbands.
There are many Psychological and Sociological reasons why more and more men are having these desires. As women gain in power and authority, men's submissive natures are becoming stronger. You have invaded and conquered a man's world by being a successful weight lifter and bodybuilder. While you probably only compete against other women, the fact still remains that you have succeeded in what was formerly a male's sport. You are strong and you are muscular, but you also maintain your feminine look and beauty at the same time. Thus, you set off a powerful aura and message and when men see you, their submissive natures stir. The so-called mousy male is so overtaken by your powerful image that he is drawn to you and he wants to serve you. Those men may not be mousy in their other relationships but you represented a powerful woman to them and they didn't want to be your equal.
Your husband may have been at a different place in his submissive nature but he was still a submissive man. Why do you think he was drawn to you? He could have dated weaker women but he wanted you, a powerful woman. Just because he has a great body and looks masculine, does not mean that he isn't submissive. You cannot judge a book by its cover. Most submissive men do not look submissive on the outside. Many submissive men give a very masculine appearance. Likewise, some mousy looking males have a Napoleon complex and can be very abusive in a relationship. They bully people emotionally to over compensate for their smaller bodies or a small penis. Have you ever noticed how many short and bald men are very successful in the business world? That is not an accident. These men were probably rejected by women most of their young lives. So they tackled and conquered the business world and got the beautiful woman through their money and position.
Regardless what a man looks like on the outside, if he is confronted with a powerful woman (be she physically powerful, intellectually powerful or sexually powerful) his submission is stirred and he becomes weak in her presence. Now that your husband has lived with you for a couple of years and has watched your dominance and power over other men and women, his submissive nature has grown to the place where he no longer sees himself as being capable of being your equal. He now wants your feminine power to overpower his masculinity and strip him completely of it. He wants you to conqueror him. He wants to yield all control over to you. At this point, you really have no choice but to accept his submission and to take the power from him.
Explore his desire to be your sissy. The two of you are married so you have the security of your marriage and your home to safely explore this desire within him. I think you will enjoy this as much, if not more, than he does. This will be different from those other men because they presented no challenge to you. Your husband is a true conquest of yours. You have taken him to this place with your dominance. Now it is time for you to enjoy his submission and for the both of you to continue to experience growth as a Dominant Female and a submissive male.
Q. I found your website very interesting, and informative. It is clearly nice to see an extremely intelligent woman whom understands the psychology of dominance/submissiveness in human sexuality.
I have been single for over a year and have not dated anyone except for an old lover from 10 years ago. My last relationship was very hard and abusive, he was alcoholic and was your typical Dr. Jeykll /Mr Hide. I was able to free myself from that situation. Since then I have gone out to the local pubs, movies etc..to socialize. This is where I met Michael....
Michael and I have spoken on a friendship basis for a year, he was married, is now divorced. He asked me out in the beginning of Dec.2001. I never looked at him in a "romantic" sense, for he was not my traditional physical type. We have been seeing each other since...the passion has been aroused in both of us. He told me many secrets, as I have him. He has been in the scene, so to speak for 20 years. He sees the potential in me to be the best he has ever submitted to. I know it is in me, I had a couple of dabblings, he is bringing out the Dominant female in me. I do not want to look like a fool in front of someone who has this much experience. How can I impress him? How can I bring out the tigress in me that is dying to be set free? I know I am about to enter a world that I have always been fascinated by, and drawn to, I am very aggressive in business and other matters. I tend to be noticed, I am 41 years old, and very sensual. I want to show him this side with all the gusto I can muster. Your advice will highly appreciated.
I know that in any relationship trust is a major factor, I trust him whole heatedly, as he must me for he shared with me that he is also a cross dresser. He dressed for me for the first time a week ago. He was beautiful as Michelle. He does not want to be with a male, he worships the female body, he loves the feel of silk, satin, leather and spandex against his skin. I have to admit that I was very enticed. I have always been a very open person about sexual preferences, and do not look down upon anyone's choice in life. It is personal and should remain so. The female form is absolutely beautiful and sexual, though I do not have any longings to be with a female, when he dresses it is a turn on. Will this work in a submissive/dominant relationship?
A. Most women start out knowing less than their submissive partners when it comes to this lifestyle. Most submissive men have been on a journey since puberty trying to explore and understand their submissive desires. Most women discover their true dominant natures later in life as it usually takes a submissive male to seduce that nature and to draw it out of a woman.
You are at the perfect age to explore your dominant persona. Most women suppress their dominant and aggressive desires because society has programmed them to be submissive toward men. But wisdom comes with experience and after a failed relationship or two, a woman begins to realize that she is better equipped to be the dominant partner within a relationship. That is why most dominant women do not embrace the female domination lifestyle until they are in their thirties, forties or even in their fifties.
So the submissive male has quite a head start when it comes to his knowledge about his submissive desires then does a dominant woman who is only now beginning to unleash that Tigress within. The good news is that your growth will accelerate and eventually, you will surpass your man in both knowledge and in your hunger for more control over him. For now, feed off of his submissive nature and learn from him.
Don't allow him to Top you from below but keep the lines of communication open with him and learn from him. The more you dominate him, the more he will desire to submit to you. That will feed your nature and you will experience growth. Also, begin to do your own research about this lifestyle through reading D&S and FemDom books and publications. Before you know it, you will catch up with his level of knowledge as you participate in this lifestyle and eventually you will surpass him. I have seen it happen time and time again. So just relax and enjoy the journey.
Cross-dressing is perfectly compatible within a Female Domination relationship. You will be able to explore this desire within him within the privacy of your home. A lot of women feel the same way you do. They enjoy feminizing a man and making him into a male lesbian. They feel powerful over the man and he seems less threatening to them when he is feminized. That is especially true if the woman was in an abusive relationship (like you said that you were). I can see where you would get excited and feel dominant when your boyfriend is dressed feminine. You like men and you sexually desire a man but the cross-dressing and the feminization allows you to explore the best of both the masculine and the feminine. Again, as long as the two of you keep this confined to the privacy of your home, you should be free to enjoy each other within a loving relationship. I do wish you all the best.
Q. My husband recently wrote and asked you to explain the difference between discipline and punishment. We both wish to thank you for the information you extended to us, as well as your other readers. Not only did it "inform" him, but I have been able to use your information to further my "interests" as well. I find everything you pass along to your readers to be quite informative, and I wish to personally thank you for your efforts.
I have another question for you. Why are men so afraid of a bra and a pair of panties? Going back to my husbands question, I have found lingerie to be an excellent way to discipline and/or punish my husband, and I don't really know why. When I go lingerie shopping, I have him go with me, and hold bras, panties, etc. for me while I look around, or while I am in a fitting room.
He's really a sight to behold, and hates it. But it is when I make him put on these things, that he really caves in to whatever I desire. Why is this? It's just a little underwear. I wouldn't have a problem putting on his underwear, so why should he have such a problem with mine? Truly Elise, I am not totally ignorant about this, but I would really appreciate hearing your insight, if you don't mind.
A. There are two different questions here. Why he is afraid to be seen holding female lingerie in public and why he is humiliated when you make him wear female lingerie at home?
The former has to do with his male ego and male pride. He is embarrassed about how other men (and women) will view him if they see him holding women's undergarments. He is afraid that men will view him as being a wimp of a husband who is drug around by the nose by his wife. His other fear of being seen in public at a lingerie store is he is afraid of being viewed as a "sissy" or being viewed as being "gay". Most men have a real homophobia.
The fear of being forced feminized at home runs much deeper. While the public scene is based on his worry of what others may think, the forced feminization is the reality that you are the dominant partner and that he must surrender his male ego and macho ways over to you. It is the realization that the feminine has conquered the masculine and that he will become helpless before you. When a man is forced feminized, it is almost like what Kryptonite is to Superman. He becomes weak as he is consumed with embarrassment and shame. Women like this because it makes the male less intimidating with he is feminized and he is easier to control and dominate when he is in such a vulnerable state.
Now keep in mind that I am talking about forced feminization here, which is what you are describing. Cross-dressing is different and the man who desires to dress in woman's lingerie reacts totally different than the man who fears woman's lingerie. Not all men fear it. Some men would become very aroused to be forced to stand in a lingerie store and hold women's undergarments. Some submissive men would love to go lingerie shopping with a woman. These men are not necessarily gay either. I have met quite a lot of heterosexual men whose submissive nature expressed itself in the desire to wear woman's lingerie. But your husband obviously does not fall into that category.
Why does your husband feel embarrassed and shame when you feminize him? It is because he is trying to hold onto his masculinity. He probably enjoys being in submission to you but he still wants to maintain some of his male pride and masculinity. Some dominant women like for their husbands to keep some masculinity whereas other women want to strip their men of all masculinity. It boils down to what you want out of him as a dominant wife. If you want to strip him of most of his masculinity, then forced feminization is a great way to do it.
The more you make him wear female lingerie, the sooner he will overcome his inhibitions and begin to feel more comfortable. Eventually he will be broken and he will surrender to your will in this area. Each time you feminize him, he will lose more resistance to it and he will submit more to your desires. Eventually, he will overcome his shame and embarrassment and who knows, he may begin to enjoy it. When that happens, the public outings to the lingerie store will become an exciting and positive experience for him.
Q. Dear Ms Sutton, I just recently came across your most interesting site and have read almost everything on it. I am impressed that you care enough to keep this website free of charge for those aficionados of the dark corners of passion.
What I am compelled by is sissy training, and your take of it seems to me to be slightly off the mark. Your take on feminization is that it is, I gather, that of the Feminine besting the masculine by making the man into a Woman or at least an aspiring woman, aspiring in vain, of course. That I go along with. I can see how the transformed male can be led to believe that he is somehow not worthy of the lingerie he is wearing. He is then a submissive sissy and humiliated because of his weakness and inferiority. But why is this necessarily a defeat of masculinity since the male is no longer a male in his own eyes? He is now closer to being a woman and a humiliated one at that.
I wish to humbly suggest that the term "feminization" is a misnomer. The process, it seems to me, at work here is emasculation not feminization. It is theft by the dominant woman of the man's manhood. He is now less than a man to the dominant woman and, so, contemptible to her. Her contempt justifies the punishment he deserves to receive by her hands. That may be arousing to her.
Yet the man's psychology is that because he is no longer a real man, his transformation gives him the freedom to enjoy his pain and submission, but as a woman now. The man in him has disappeared and he can bask in his femininity, have his cake and eat it too, even play out in his own mind the sadistic as well as the masochistic elements in the equation. There are some men, I'm sure you would agree, who can only be submissive in drag so that they are able to protect their male identity. He wins by losing, so to speak-which is the logic of all masochism, isn't it?
Thank you for your fascinating website and your obvious compassion and love.
A. That is an excellent observation. The emasculation of the male is a major component of the practice known as forced feminization. What you are addressing is what takes place within the psyche of the male when he is being feminized. What I was addressing when I talked about the feminine conquering the masculine is what takes place within the psyche of the female. To the female, a man who is emasculated through forced feminization is less intimidating to her. A woman who feminizes her man does feel powerful and sexually aroused at the societal and psychological implications of the masculine yielding to the feminine by submitting to this practice.
What you are accurately describing is what occurs within the psyche of feminized male. To the male, forced feminization could be classified as humiliation play as he is being emasculated in front of a woman (or women) and thus this stirs his submissive desires to submit to the female as she is stimulating his psychological triggers through the process of emasculating him. Of course these are generalizations.
What you must keep in mind is that D&S activities have different meanings to different people based on their unique sexual and psychological make-ups. What you experience by being feminized may be totally different than what another man experiences. To a lot of men, forced feminization is the practice of being emasculated but to other men, it is the exploration of the exciting (and forbidden) world of the feminine. That is why terminology is a general classification and not law. As is the case with the terms punishment and discipline, the terms feminization, emasculation, and cross-dressing can be intermingled based on the specific desires of those who practice these activities.
Nevertheless, I agree with your overall observations about what transpires within the psyche of most submissive men when he is being feminized. Most of the men I have counseled and interviewed about what they experience when being feminized do testify to the fact that they enjoy being humiliated and emasculated by the superior female. Other men will say that they have always found the world of the feminine (soft lingerie and undergarments, cosmetics, etc) to be exciting and thus being feminized allows them to experience the thrill of being immersed in the feminine. And some men experience a combination of all of the above. Again, each person is unique with their own unique sexual and psychological triggers. It is the variety of the female domination lifestyle that makes it so exciting.
Feminization - A Common Desire for Many Men
Surprisingly many men have intense desires to dress and act like women. This does not automatically mean that they are homosexual (although some are). For example, some of them have wives or girlfriends, whereas others are waiting to go through a sex-change operation before having penetrative sex.
However, many men with these feelings can feel embarrassed, shy or plain scared to let people know. A man may be afraid of the reactions he may get from his wife or girlfriend, friends, or work-mates. He may find confessing this to a religious figure would bring scorn or condemnation.
Yet, he would not be doing anything wrong. He is not harming anyone. This man merely has different feelings and desires. Just as it would be unhelpful to condemn or criticize someone who prefers, say, tennis to football, so it is equally unhelpful to judge a person's feelings for what is known as "feminization".
What is feminization?
Feminization is the process of changing a man's behavior, feelings and even thought patterns into that of a woman. Although the process is never fully complete, a man can, with practice and support, change into an apparently real and convincing woman.
To make this conversion fully, a man needs to overcome some real obstacles. This includes his upbringing, any subconscious blocks, and maybe a lifetime's habit of doing things in a man's way.
Not everyone realizes that the subconscious exerts a powerful control over how a person behaves and feels. By aligning one's subconscious (and unconscious) beliefs, one can generate new behaviors and feelings that feel automatic and natural.
Feminization is no different. In achieving this, a man would no longer have to "fake" being a woman, but could move confidently through the world in a feminine way. Adding the right clothes would turn him into a convincing woman.
Naturally, practice is one way to make new ways of life automatic, natural and unconscious. This means that if we do something often enough, it becomes as automatic as, say, blinking.
How can a man speed up this feminization process? Well, hypnosis is specially designed to work directly with a person's unconscious mind. By utilizing hypnosis, any process -- including feminization -- will be greatly speeded up. We would call this feminization hypnosis.
In summary:
When a man has feelings of wanting to be a woman, this is common and should be accepted. The man can fully engage these feelings and speed them up through a process of feminization hypnosis, quickly and naturally becoming the woman he wants to be.
How Can a Woman Feminize Her Man?
Is it too much to ask for the men in our lives to take dance lessons with us? Can we ever go to a "chick flick" without hearing sighs of boredom? All of these struggles leave us wondering if men are capable of tapping into their sensitive sides. How can we feminize a man without the frustration?
Keep the list short. Start with one sensitive thing at a time, and try to keep it easy. He won't be happy about sitting through a two hour drama, so find something that will be enjoyable for him too. His eyes will not roll to the back of his head if it has some action.
Make it fifty-fifty. If you don't like action movies or movies with a mentality of a twelve year old, then don't expect him to be so cooperative of tear-jerkers. There has to be some meeting of the middle or no one feels they are getting their needs met. Men and women don't need to have the same interests. Pick out one or two things to do together and the rest you can do with friends.
If you wish for it, you might just get it. Make sure you are not trying to make him too feminine or sensitive. You have only yourself to blame if he starts crying at every beer commercial.
Most men just don't have it. As hard as you try, men are not capable of being completely sensitive. They have testosterone more then estrogen, so it may be physically impossible. However, every man has some sensitivity to them, but they express it by being protectors and providers.
Finally, most men are raised differently and cannot be changed. Generally, women are raised with a more sensitive and feminine mentality. Women cannot be changed anymore then men can. We may be asking too much of men to expect them to be sensitive and feminine on the level that women were raised to be.
Why You Should Learn How to Feminize a Man
A man is considered masculine, protective, and destructive (when needed). Feminizing a man means relieving the tensions felt from his presence. Many women feel that it's important to have a man with a hint of femininity so he will understand their needs. This is not true; you can learn how to feminize a man by listening to his needs then integrating them into your own.
The basics of understanding a man's needs are to listen. Men consider their thoughts just as important as those of a woman - which causes conflict in some relationships. Women have stated and continue to complain that men do not share themselves enough in a relationship. You can read thousands of books of how women are concerned about the sensitivity their boyfriends or husbands lack in loving them.
It's not interesting to see someone change because their intimate other decides it. You can learn how to feminize a man by using sensitivity to his needs and showing him that sensitivity is important to you. Soon, you will notice how well he listens and responds during conversations. You may also receive honest answers pertaining to your appearance, but keep it to a minimum. Many women make the mistake of leading their men in the wrong direction with femininity.
Remember to appreciate your husband or boyfriend for listening to you. It takes a lot for some men to break down those barriers to express emotions to the women they love. It's evident that their needs must remain a part of the equation, but you won't have to worry about losing their concerns.
By understanding, working hard, and believing in his well-being, his feminine side will arise. You can be honest when you ask that he feminize himself to be a better man. Or you can teach him how to open up slowly. When you learn how to feminize a man, you learn how to enter his heart with open arms.
how to feminize your hubby?
Ever wonder how to feminize your hubby? Tired of beer, sports and scary movies? Does your hubby think romance is grabbing fast food? Well stay tuned I have tips for you! First and foremost you should realize that your hubby will more then likely not like the idea. This is not to say that it cannot be done, it just comes down to how much your husband cares about your needs and wants to satisfy you.
First of all you need to know what you want to change about your hubby and create a plan. Do you want to have more romance? Spend more time together? Maybe you want him to be more sensitive? Deciding exactly what it is you want and focusing in on that will help you to devise a plan.
Identifying what motivates your hubby and using it against him will be very important. Know what his triggers are, and use them. Don't let him know that you are withholding 'special treatment', just play coy and act like you done know what he wants until he gives in.
You could start slowly with some subliminal tactics. Playing songs like 'Dude Looks Like a lady' and begin to only call him names like love, sweetie, honey, cutie, etc. These things bring out his sensitive side and bring you closer to your goal.
Control your conversations by answering his questions with more questions. If his question is 'Why are we going to this movie?' Your response should be 'Because you love me so much!' Keeping him on his toes like this will sure stop him in his tracks.
Be sure to praise him for all of his attempts at being sensitive. It will take some time to transform your man. Remember that every step gets you closer to your goal!
You want to know how to feminize your house husband. You are no longer thrilled by the unnecessary banter of boys being boys and thoughts of superiority. Perhaps you just want to sit down with your man and talk about that new movie just just came out. Regardless, I will tell you what advice I know.
But you are unsure how to do it. After all, there's not really a book on "How do I make my man drop the beer and pick up the chick flick"? There is a variety of things you could do to get your man in touch with his inner woman!
You could do something delicate together. Don't go get him a manicure, but maybe you take an art class together (sure, he'll likely be more excited if it's a nude portrait class but you don't have to take that one!). Do something soothing and enjoyable for the both of you. Let him show his artistic side.
Talk to him about it. I don't enjoy the idea of going behind someone's back to do anything. It is dishonest. If you want him to stop acting like a man so much, let him know! He will probably stare at you funny but I guarantee that if he loves you he'll make a few changes on his own with time.
Don't treat him like a lady. He will probably see this as more of an insult rather than anything. Don't steal his entire playboy collection and replace it with a feminine magazine. Though that would be hilarious, it is not wise to do anything upsetting or feminizing your man will backfire and he won't be very happy.
In a nutshell, that's how to feminize your house husband. There are many strategies to go about but just keep in mind to be honest to him, and to you. Some men are just too "manly" and there's no getting around that
teach him a lesson
by 'Suzette Denniss'
I keep my husband strictly corseted, and it is something I recommend to all women. Strict corseting does wonders for a man’s attitude, not to mention his posture, his gut, his manners and his fidelity.
Getting started is the most difficult issue for both parties, especially if he resists the idea. However a woman can be very persuasive. Once you have your man in a corset, the rest is easy. Very often they have an erotic curiosity about corsets that can be exploited. In my case, I nagged at him about his posture until he reluctantly agreed to wear a corset. We began just for “dress” occasions. That was five years ago. I gradually increased his corset time and he now is laced 24/7 and wears a much more rigorous corset than the one with which he began. Initially I would simply refuse to unlace him for several hours --- oh my, you should have heard the wailing --- and I gradually increased the hours he wore it. Sex, either giving it or withholding it, can be an effective tactic.
His corset is a heavily boned, back laced leather garment that extends from under bust to mid hip. It is quite formidable. I insist that it always be laced as tightly as possible and I check him and tighten him twice a day.
He is allowed to shower on Wednesday and Saturday and occasionally more often in hot weather. But the corset is reapplied immediately and he is never out of it for longer than 20 minutes. No dallying is tolerated.
There are two schools of thought on enforcing a corset on an unwilling wearer. Some advocate a locking corset and there are models on which a flap with a heavy industrial zipper closes over the laces and is secured with a padlock. They undoubtedly are quite effective and tamper proof and can reduce a man to helpless submission.
I prefer however to leave him unlocked. He knows he can undo his lacing, admittedly with difficulty. But he also knows that it would become immediately evident at his next daily inspection and that punishment would ensue. That way it is not a padlock but your willpower that keeps the corset in place.
My system of punishment is a chastity belt and/or a helmet. I do not believe in caning. The one time he did tamper with his lacing, he was put in his chastity belt (which is entirely foolproof!) for six months and slept every night during that time handcuffed and helmeted. He never tried it again. Now I impose the chastity belt for a month at a time, usually for failure to satisfy me sexually. I must say the threat of a month’s enforced celibacy is very effective in making him both an ardent and innovative lover.
When I do put him in the CB, I usually tell him 12 hours ahead of time so that he can think about it. I then make him put it on himself, adjust it, lock it and hand me the key which I keep in my bra. I find it sexually simulating when he pleads with me to remove it, usually after two or three days, or watching him try to circumvent it. He has never succeeded. It is made of stainless steel.
Of course if I discover him masturbating , which is difficult but still possible in his corset, the belt goes on immediately.
I am planning a punishment corset for him. It’s necessary to come up with regular innovations and new punishments like this so that he never quite knows what to expect. I usually update his situation at Christmas. For example, it was Christmas 2003 I informed him that beginning New Year’s Day 2004 he would be laced 24/7. I remember he went quite pale when I told him and suggested he enjoy the week of free time he had left. At that point he had been laced only 16 hours a day. Usually at Christmas I present him with a new and more restrictive corset and he has come to expect something like that each year. The new one that year incorporated shoulder straps, something else for him to ponder during the week. When we started in the new year, they were tightened one notch a day until they were at their maximum.
Of course corsets have to be laundered. It’s preferable to have two identical garments rather than allow him to wear the old one which is probably less severe.
His new punishment corset extends from neck to knees. It is made of heavy rubber and Kevlar with wide one inch steel boning molded into it at half inch intervals. It is not laced but secured with a series of clamps, something like hose clamps, which are tightened with a power screwdriver. The whole apparatus weighs about 50 pounds. Despite the complexity it can be applied in about twenty minutes. There are locking shoulder straps and the neck corset portion can be zippered and locked to a matching rubber and steel punishment helmet. The helmet has an optional ball gag. The eyes can be either covered with zippered flaps or not. Although the genital area is covered by the corset, a hose fits over the penis to allow urination. Sitting is impossible and I doubt whether I shall impose it for more than four or five days at a time. That should be sufficient. I imagine he will be putty in my hands after a couple of days like this and willing to do anything to avoid being returned to it.
Sometimes a man will be so fearful of such punishment that he actually manages to avoid offending. If that is the case, you must find or invent some excuse on occasion. I feel, at the very minimum, that cumulatively he should spend three months in the CB each year and at least three weeks in the PC. Of course he never is told how long his punishment will last. When he pulls the helmet over his head (I usually but not always make him do that himself as well) he does not know whether it will be there for an hour, a day or a week. When the punishment is for more than a day, I remove the helmet (but not the corset) for 30 minutes each evening so that he can eat and drink. However he is not allowed to speak during that time and also is not told until the last minute whether he has completed his punishment or whether the helmet will be put on again. If there is any complaint or if he talks, the eyes are covered and the next day’s break is cut to five minutes or even cancelled. (It’s possible to provide water or liquid nourishment without removing the helmet but I don’t like to be excessively harsh.) The psychology of this sort of discipline is as important as the treatment itself and several times I have been successful in reducing him to tears. Needless to say, they did not help him.
In presenting your sub with something new like this, it’s important that he be made to fear it. So initially he should be put into it for a short period, perhaps 8 or 12 hours, as a sort of “dress rehearsal” so that he will know what he faces as future punishment. I did this with his chastity belt and will do it also with his new punishment corset.
Some women do not permit their subs to have sex. I allow it but strictly at my wish. If he is in his CB, he is required to satisfy me orally, manually or mechanically which must be very frustrating for him while he is locked up. And of course, if he fails or even if he should ejaculate spontaneously it’s an automatic one week extension of his “sentence.”
It is very important to be firm and strict. You may sometimes even feel pity for him and be inclined to relax your regimen or even reward him with free time or less stringent lacing. This should never be done. You not only must always keep the upper hand, that upper hand must be uncompromising, I was tempted to release him during a spell of particularly hot and humid weather recently but decided that would be unwise. So he stayed rigidly laced and when he sulked about that, I put him in his punishment corset for 24 hours despite the fact he groveled and apologized. My motto is “no excuses and no exceptions.”
I should mention the punishment corset at that time was not as severe as the one I am having made. It was adapted from a surgical support with a severe back brace. I also added handcuffs and a neck brace to it. Wearing it was not a pleasant experience for him although I imagine it will seem like “the good old days” the first time he is put in the new one. I have given the old one to my sister who likes what I have done and plans to impose a corset on her husband shortly.
Another advantage of keeping a man corseted is the fact that it discourages any sexual wandering. It would be very difficult to seduce a woman and then, at the moment of truth, explain why you are wearing a corset. Removing it is not an option because it would be very evident to me that my knot had been undone. Of course, there is always the possibility of a partner who might find the corset “kinky.” If that is a concern, then the chastity belt can be imposed full time.
I have told him he can leave if he wishes but that if he stays, he follows my rules. He stays because despite his situation, he is well cared for. Being of a “sub” nature, he finds being laced erotic although he has asked me if I would reduce the 24/7 schedule. I told him I would consider it but of course I never had any intention of doing so. But while he thought I really was considering it, he was very attentive to me. When I told him, a week later, that he would remain 24/7, he called me a “bitch.” That sort of thing cannot be allowed and so I devised a special punishment. He was put in his chastity belt and given a libido enhancing drug. He told me later he was sorry and that his 24 hours of unrequited sexual desire, being in a CB while feeling incredibly horny, was the worst experience he had ever known and begged me never to do it again. I told him that would depend on his behaviour.
Many corseted men feel self conscious outside the home. It is our experience that nobody really cares or even notices. Of course, the corset means that he is unable to wear light summer clothing. And with the corset’s heavy steel boning and fittings it can be a problem at airport security. We usually inform the security people of the situation ahead of time. Oddly enough, they say such cases are not unusual although they always seem taken aback at the severity of my husband’s corset.
The one exception to his schedule that I made was when he suffered an attack of the flu. I agreed to loosen his laces slightly while he was ill however not remove the corset. But I made him agree that for each day he was loosened while sick, he would spend two days in the punishment corset when he got well. He opted to do it on successive Sundays and at this writing has three more to endure.
There are many advantages and few disadvantages to keeping a man corseted. It curbs any macho tendencies and makes him very dependant on your good will and very sensitive to your moods. It insures his faithfulness, curbs his appetite and inhibits inconvenient demands for sex. A corset does as much for a man’s mind as it does for his body. Some women wish to feminize their men. I want him to remain a man but one whose mind and body are shaped to my will. The corset is invaluable in doing that!
John stared at his wife..she was wearing one of his shirts..and a tie! His wife was pale but perfectly calm, "When we were kids..I wore your clothes..and YOU wore mine! Remember?"
John felt his cheeks burn at the memory. He could only nod.
She took his hands in hers saying, "Well I want to wear them now. I want to be
...your...your .. husband. Not all the time, just when I'm in the mood. "
His mouth dropped open. "And what about me...does that mean I'm your wife?"
She nodded. "Yes. I've wanted to ask for years, but I thought you'd be upset. I'd love to be the man about the house...just for a few hours every now and then. And you...you'd look so pretty if you let me help you."
He shook his head. "No, I don't mind you wearing my clothes...but I'd look ridiculous
in a frock."
Martha shrugged helplessly. "But I'd only do it if you did too. Please, please help
me...I know you'd LIKE to wear a dress!"
John felt breathless. There was a dull roaring in his ears. Why was his mouth so dry.
He shook his head miserably. "No. I won't , I CAN'T!"
Martha squeezed his hand. "It's alright, I understand. I was mad to even suggest it.
Let's forget the whole thing."
John sat numb and helpless as she walked away. He wanted to scream for her to come back. But what could he say? He joined his wife in their bedroom. She had undressed and was wearing one of her prettiest nightdresses. A knee length nylon creation that had a cute frill at neck and hem.
Martha handed him a pair of striped pyjamas. Instead of taking them from them he dropped his eyes to the carpet saying softly, "If...if you want to wear my pyjamas...I'll wear this...If ..if that's what you want." Suddenly he was blushing furiously.
Martha pulled him close, "Oh darling thank you thank you, thank you SO much!" She soothed him with words, "You won't regret this..I promise..everything will be fine."
John watched her with a mounting, dry-mouthed excitement. She slipped out of the
nightdress. He wordlessly took the shortie nightie from her.
He undressed slowly. Could this really be happening? He ducked his head under the hem of the nightie. And he gasped as it slithered down his naked body. As it caressed and held him..as its filmy skirts embraced him.
"Why not tie a ribbon in your hair?" Martha asked as she stepped into the pyjama
trousers.
He did as she suggested feeling excited and yet incredibly stupid. A pink satin
ribbon...!!
By the time he was undressed Martha was under the sheets wearing his pyjamas.
She actually looks quite sexy in them, he mused. But the thought of what he himself looked like in her nightie, dulled his excitement. He switched off the light before getting into bed.
John gasped softly in the darkness as the silky nylon folds of the nightie caressed his naked flesh. He shivered in ecstasy. His palms ran down his body , what a glorious feeling.
Martha was first to speak. "Darling? Can we pretend...that I'm, I'm the husband...and
that you are my wife ?"
He was so excited he found it almost impossible to answer. "Alright." He whispered
thickly But he was amazed to hear the sound of lust in her words too, "I want my wife," She
murmured in the darkness, "I want my wife Sally."
He felt her snuggle up alongside him. His whole body trembled with excitement.
Martha leaned over him in the darkness. They stared at each other in the dim light.
He could see the gleam of excitement in her eyes, and when she handed him her
pretty lace covered make-up cap he knew she actually wanted a woman in her bed!
He took the frilly cap from her with a frown.
She saw his face and told him, "It will help you look more, well girlish. It'll hide you
mannish hair and soften your features. Go on. Put it on."
It was like a bonnet, he knew Martha wore it occasionally at night after having had
her hair done. He pulled it onto his head and tied the thin silk strings under his chin.
She stared at him for a long moment, and he felt the heat in his face. But she wasn't satisfied. "It's a very pretty nightdress.." And her palms examined the white silk nightie. Caressing him, groping him!
And his body reacted to her touch!
Now she was happy. "That's better...Sally." And she kissed him. It was a long tender kiss, full of promise and John melted in her arms. Her hands sought his tiny breasts through the silk material of his nightdress. He wriggled with pleasure at her caress. Her hands slid lower, and she gripped him tightly through the skirt of his nightdress...he moaned with delight.
Martha was caught up in her fantasy..she was a man; she was the husband. And he was a wife! "Sally, my darling Sally, your so beautiful..." John felt the hem of his nightie being worked upwards, he raised his buttocks to assist her. Now she lay on top of him.
"My wife, my Sally." She whispered softly. Her knees forced his thighs apart. He felt her fingers probe between his thighs...she was stroking him, as though he were a girl! And his body was loving it!
Martha stared at him through slitted eyes in the darkness. The sight of her husband writhing in ecstasy thrilled her. The very act of being a man, a husband, excited her. She had enjoyed numerous lesbian adventures at boarding school but this was better by far. She sensed, accurately, that it was the power, her absolute control over what was happening to another human being, that aroused her. It suddenly occurred to her that if John could indeed be made to accept the role of wife...then it followed that she herself as the husband would have total control; not just of their sex life, but of their finances as well!
Martha began to work her hips and pelvis urgently. Her mouth closed over John's. As her tongue explored his mouth she began to jerk her hips against him. She closed her eyes and imagined that she really was making love to a woman! Lost in a fantasy world where she was a man, her hands cruelly kneaded John's breasts through the flimsy nightdress. His moans fanned her desire to fever pitch. Her groin slammed against his spread-eagled body, helpless and female beneath her...and the knowledge that she was hurting him...that he was accepting it...caused her lust to boil over. With one last frenzied, convulsive jerk she climaxed...and collapsed exhausted on top of him.
John had been shocked at her uncontrolled passion. But her clear and obvious excitement made him believe that she too wanted to swap roles. He fell asleep bruised and sore but content.
But he found waking in a nightdress a sobering experience. Sensitive to his mood, and fearful of regression, Martha pulled him close. "Darling. Tell me it was good for you too."
How could he deny it? "Yes, it was wonderful." He answered softly.
But she saw the doubt in his face. "We know what we want, why can't we live as we
choose?" She asked.He shook his head, "With me in a frock? I'd look stupid and you know it."John pushed her away. Sitting up in bed he displayed his male body in the silk nightie.
He ripped the bonnet from his head. "Look at me. Don't tell me I look anything but
ridiculous!"
She knew she had to change his mind. "But that's my whole point," She told him firmly, "You look and feel wrong because you look like a man in a nightdress! But if you wore your hair differently, if your face was made-up, if you let me show you how to become a REAL woman...then you'd look and feel like one. Aren't you willing to at least try?"
John got out of bed, as he stood the skirt of the nightie caressed his thighs. It felt marvellous. He wondered what it would be like to wake up every morning feeling like this. "Of course I'll give it a try," He said, "It's just that I don't want you to see me
looking...like this."
Martha understood at once. "If I got someone else in, someone who understood, someone who could help you become female...would that make you feel better? I'd keep out of the way until you were looking nice, until you felt comfortable in a frock."
John shrugged, "Who could you get who'd understand?" He asked.
She made him face her. "Never mind who, if I could get someone would you do it? It would be expensive, it would be painful for you, but it would work...and we'd be happy, I promise you we'd be happy. In the meantime I expect you to at least TRY and be a woman."
Martha was patient with him during this period. She was calm and understanding when his embarrassment became too painful. But she gently insisted on his wearing more and more of her clothes. And each day she rearranged his hair and made-up his face.
It was the bra and girdle that bothered him most. Martha had laced him tightly into the whalebone corset, a relic from her teenage years, and had then slipped the straps of the black satin bra up his arms. He went into a state of shock then, she had to put his stockings on herself. When she put the high heeled court shoes on him and pulled him to his feet he could not face her.
Privately Martha thought he looked fine. The black seamed nylons looked lovely on his long shapely legs and what with the pre-shaped corset and the padded bra he certainly did not look foolish. But she ignored his shame and forced him to try on knickers and petticoat. The knickers were navy blue silk in a full waist style. The petticoat was a mass of frilly nylon.
"Look at yourself!" She pointed at the mirror, "You look perfect. Why are you
fighting it?"
But John could only see a man in a skirt, a man wearing pink lipstick and ear-rings. He pulled off the bra and reached for the laces of the corset. "I'm sorry, I can't do it, I just can't!"
Her words were like a whip. "Don't touch that!" She barked,
"Now I've been very patient with you but enough is enough. Now try this dress on, it
will make all the difference, go on.Years of obeying her had conditioned John, reluctantly he stepped inside the
waistband of the white linen dress.
Martha zipped him up and they both looked at him through the mirror. John eyed the
lace collar and cuffs of the dress. His palms touched the bulges at his chest."I'm just a man in a dress. The whole thing is ridiculous!"His sullen words made her really angry. She had patiently got him this far and she wasenraged that he could so casually dismiss all her efforts so easily.She hit him!
They were both shocked. The slap across the face had hurt John's pride more than
anything, but it introduced a new element into their relationship.
Martha stared at her husband. The blow had fanned some latent flame of desire. She
wanted to hurt him. Using her anger as an excuse she slapped him again.A bizarre lust bubbled up inside her. He couldn't fight her! He was just taking it!"You ungrateful little bitch. After all I've done to help you, come here..."
She dragged her husband to the couch. It was only when she pulled him over her lap, only when he fully understood her intentions that he struggled...but it was too late. Martha swept up his skirt and petticoat. John wriggled in shame as she tugged his knickers down.
"Martha...don't I...PLEASE!"
She brought her hand down over his bare bottom. Pain and shame exploded in his
brain. SPANK SPANK SPANK